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Day to day living can take its toll on a relationship; busy schedules can relegate private time with each other to the back burner. What can be a better remedy than slipping away somewhere quiet where you can be the only two people in the world?
Getting away to the cottage can be a spontaneous or planned occasion, and with a little mental preparation it can put the spark back into your love life, or take the passion even higher.
Preventive and healing care for a relationship
Some of the ideas on this page are targeted at people who are having difficulty relating to each other, whereas other ideas are perfect for those who just want to take time away together.
Relationships require nurturing on a number of levels: emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual (whatever your religious outlook might be). Sometimes, just showing that you are willing to make the effort to make time for each other is a good start.
Most often problems in relationships arise when one partner feels neglected - intentionally or not. This can be compounded with a lack of communication leaving the other person to believe that everything is all right, until it reaches a critical point where it is hard to turn things around. Ignoring it either because of a fear of what might be said or simply denying to yourself that there might be a problem only ensures that it won't be solved.
Time alone together with no outside distractions forces you to really look at your partner, and reacquaint yourself with him or her as a person - outside of daily roles (whether they are familial, community, or business).
On top of that, time at the cottage can be a retreat: restorative, healing, grounding, and centering for body, mind, and soul. How wonderful would it be to share that with the one you love?
Where to start
While planning a surprise trip might not be the ideal route for every couple, keeping the details secret while letting your partner know the general information (when, how long, what to pack) can heighten the sense of anticipation.
Plan to leave the outside world behind completely - no television, no laptop, no distractions of any kind. You will want to make time to talk and connect and just do those things that have been pushed aside.
The ideal cottage for reconnecting is a secluded waterfront location, with lots of land for taking walks. If you are renting a property for this purpose, see about properties with a hot tub or sauna - being relaxed goes a long way
Don't stay too long. For most people three days is the maximum amount of time that they can spend without any outside contact or activities before getting "antsy". Pushing it past the point of relaxation and forcing your partner to concentrate only on you will defeat the purpose of the vacation. By day three, start factoring separate activities, or things you can do together that don't focus specifically on your relationship.
What to do
Talk. If you are having problems, this might be more difficult than anticipated. It requires the commitment of both people.
Take a long walk. Unfamiliar sites and sounds make a good starting point for conversations; you'll be surprised where it can lead. Hold hands, which leads us to:
Touch. Touch serves both therapeutic and bonding purposes. Western society
has moved away from hugging and friendly forms of touching (with reasons)
and relegated it to the confines of relationships or therapeutic/clinical
Take a nap together. Sleeping in the same bed every night is one thing, but how often do you curl up together in the afternoon? This can be a decadent and luxurious treat and represent how very far away from the everyday this vacation really is.
What to take
Here are some ideas for spicing up your weekend and adding a romantic edge to your environment.
Enjoy each other!